Intro
Hi and welcome to MAD in Flow Unboxed: the podcast where we dive deep into the world of continuous adaptation, business reinvention and the subtle art of embracing change.
I'm your host Lina.
Every episode I'll be bringing you insights, strategies and inspiring stories to help you stay ahead in the fast-changing landscape of today's business world.
Hook
“Change isn’t made by asking permission. Change is made by asking forgiveness, later.”
Don't you just love this quote by marketing wizard Seth Godin?
Welcome back to MAD in Flow: Unboxed!
Hey there, it's Lina, your guide through the dynamic world of continuous adaptation and business evolution.
Today's episode's got a cheeky title:
“Sorry, not sorry. How I replace asking for permission with asking for feedback instead. “
Now, that might sound like a simple switch, but let me tell you, it's been a huge game changer.
We'll be unpacking the power dynamics behind those sneaky permission-seeking habits we all have.
You know, those little “ is it okay..? would you mind if..” moments that creep up everywhere from our day-to-day lives to those intense client meetings.
But here's the twist: we'll be diving deep into how simply shifting to a feedback-focused approach not only elevates our professional status but that even truly transforms how we navigate the business world.
Plus, I've got some intriguing insights that just might make you reconsider how you present yourself (or your team members) in decision-making scenarios.
So, whether you're a business veteran, a sprouting entrepreneur, or someone curious about personal growth and communication, this episode is packed with gems you won't want to miss.
Ready to unbox this together? Let's go!
The Cultural Norm of Seeking Permission
So what's so wrong about asking for permission?
Isn't this one of the first thing that we are taught both at home and at school?
Raising your hand before asking a question, asking for permission before leaving the table, or borrowing someone else’s pen?
There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking for permission when the action you're about to take might affect others, be it your peers, your clients, your management, your family and friends.
The problem is when asking for permission becomes your go-to mechanism before EVERY SINGLE decision making …and hinders your ability to trust your own guts, your experience, your expertise, your knowledge and ends up making you come off as less competent!
The Transition: From Permission to Feedback aka taking ownership
I have personally learned very early on on my professional journey how hindering it can be to be constantly seeking permission before taking action. It cost me my dream project.
I was promised I would take it when I was hired for this one year contract and I was just waiting for my N+1 to give me the green light get started on it.
In the meantime, a colleague just took initiative and ended up handling it.
And at the moment I felt so resentful, angry, betrayed, I actually considering quitting until I took a step back and and realized that this strategic project needed someone who could prove their leadership skills, their ability to be proactive and be a fearless go-getter.
And well, by waiting on the sidelines, that’s not the vibe I conveyed to my hierarchy.
… so it all made completely sense in hindsight.
And since then, I promised myself that I would NEVER go through that same process ever again and that I'd rather ask for feedback after going for what I wanted.
Ever since, whenever I have needed to make decisions about a project, I would ask for guidance from experts when dealing with a complex situation.
But at the end of the day, I’d be the one calling the shots!
And it has turned my life upside down for the better:
- It helped build up my confidence
- made my management see me as a trustworthy go getter
- and that’s how I ended up having strategic responsibilities quite early on and even oversee technical projects even though I was the only project manager who graduated from business school because those acquired leadership skills, this ability to get things done, no matter what, helped make projects go smoother almost always on time
- … and yes at the end of the day, all the decisions were not picture perfect, of course, but at least it got the ball rolling and help the team stay driven and focused on our end goal
Why Feedback is More Empowering
And what's even greater about shifting from this permission-seeking mentality to asking for feedback once you've taken things into your own hands is that it helps you switch to a growth mindset, accepting the risk of occasional failure.
It makes you gain more self-confidence.
And overall, it shows and nurtures your ability to be leading teams and or projects, while being able to adjust to the hinderances you might have along the way.
What’s more, an HBR article I’ll be sharing in the shownotes demonstrates that to appear more competent, you need to appear more confident.
In other words, you have to convince others of your ability by communicating what you're good at, without seeking external validation.
So yes do take initiatives and use feedback as a tool to demonstrate your skills and gain recognition and hopefully succeed better in your career.
At the end of the day, it's about communication and ownership, demonstrating one’s ability to take calculated risks and be a seasoned decision-maker.
And once you've made your mind, what’s stopping you from analyzing the outcome with your team, your peers or your management, to figure out if that were the best course of action or if you’d be better off with a different strategy next time?
Let’s bring in some data to nurture these statements, shall we?!
According to PwC, 60% of employees said they would like feedback on a daily or weekly basis—a number that increased to 72% for employees under age 30.
Why? To gain clarity and purpose in their day to day endeavour and feel like a valued member of the organization… hopefully preventing them from joining the ever increasing number of quiet quitters!
So basically, whenever you share feedback with your employees, your peers or your management, you're giving them recognition for the work that they're doing and demonstrating your leadership skills all at once.
How to Effectively Seek Feedback Instead of Permission
Wondering what are the practical steps to shift from this permission-seeking mentality to a feedback culture as a manager?
Well, first of all, you can adopt the habit of giving short-time feedback, that is, after each presentation, client meeting, workshop.
It doesn't need to be long, it just has to follow a simple structure such as:
- here is what I liked in your presentation,
- this is what I've learned,
- and maybe here's what I would have done differently if i were in your shoes
Another valuable feedback tool I am personally fond of come from Jurgen Appelo’s Management 3.0: ever heard of the Kudo Box? A set of cards used to congratulate your team members for their achievement or specific contribution to the team.. unless you’d rather do it on LinkedIn? What matters here is to make your recognition visible (public) and increase their motivation.
Afraid of creating conflict or of handling sensitive people that might have a harder time telling the difference between constructive feedback and criticism? One option would be to replace feedback by feedforward.
Developed by Marshall Goldsmith, this approach focuses on the future is driven around solution seeking and permanent improvement: a great way to encourage team members, employees and peers to take initiatives without fearing judgment or criticism.
This can be a wonderful tool to foster psychological safety within your team and help them stay innovators and stop seeking permission.
If such an approach seems too disruptive given your company's culture, why not go ahead and organize a team building? You could have either an agile coach or a liberating structure facilitator help you experiment around a couple of workshops where it will be encouraged to share feedback both ways, breaking silos and encouraging people to speak their minds and feel rewarded for it.
Conclusion
“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do” Dr. Benjamin Spock
So what is one decision you’ve been pondering for far too long? What could be the low impact initiative you could be taking next? Please share your story in the comments and remember:
“The ones who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones that do.” Steve Jobs